accident

ahead of phil spencer getting ready to send a kill signal to every xbox or whatever it is influencers think he’s cooking up to sabotage the brand with, my sound market analysis is that he actually has a secret ace up his sleeve that will keep them from losing timdog: the japanese exclusive. no, not that one. send iga back to the konami mines to make another otomedius. make namco commit to delivering a new dream club where the girls get really drunk this time. tell takuya someone may show up to take his thumbs unless AC8 lands as an xcloud exclusive. surely, this will solve everything this time. L4U couldn’t have ranked third in DLC sellthrough globally on xbox by pimping itself out to all those other pesky platforms.

while I leave open the possibility that there might be a dramatic conclusion to this whole saga where microsoft does end up calling it quits on hardware entirely, the histrionics people have tripped over themselves with the past few days are some of the best displays of brand allegiance to have graced us in a post-chad warden era. games would be fun again and a mcdouble would cost a dollar if my world view was still simple enough to believe that platform exclusives made any sort of business or consumer sense with the way games are being developed and published now. this is the price you pay, I guess, when you leave tiktokers to openly speculate for a week about where your brand is headed, only so you can poke your head back up to clear the air on… a recorded podcast? maybe we really are teeing up for another 2005 boom.